I've probably told you about my invention, the Ronco Bible. It comes with Wite-Out and a Sharpee, so you can eliminate the parts that pinch a bit, as well as add scriptures you might like to see. For example, you could erase the entire book of James, because, come on...ouch, right? Or if there's a section you really really like, you could put it in a few extra times, like setting your Ipod on repeat so you can listen to JT bringing sexy back over and over and over. And you might want to add a few promises to your Ronco Bible. Like, "And lo, ye shall come forth from thy multi-million ducet dwelling, and ye shall rideth in thy Mercedes from wence thy tunes floweth forth from thy Bose sound system". You can just see how really handy such a versatile Bible would be. Of course, we couldn't call it the Word of God. Maybe the Word of Larry.
Turns out, we just purchased a Bible which was apparently designed by the good folks at Ronco. If you look carefully at the photo, you'll notice that I John is just moving right along when all of a sudden --BAM!-- there's Luke again, popping in to say hello. So once again, my invention has already been invented. On the other hand, this is the very Bible C-Monkey carried in the wedding this summer. . . could be he dropped it once too often, stood on it a few times too many, kicked it down the stairs overly much, and the pages just shifted around a bit. Now we have a Bible with 87 books. Kewl!
