Ugh.

The former winner of the Most Disgusting Commercial Ever trophy, Carl's Jr, has been replace by D & G Watches. If you see the beginning of a TV ad with a lovely man and a lovely woman each frantically checking their (quite expensive) watches and trying to grab a cab, obviously in a great hurry to meet up with their respective dearly beloveds, DO NOT HESITATE. Turn the channel. Or hit the off button. Or throw a fruit cake through the screen. Trust me; you'll be happier not seeing the remainder of this commercial.

A Fail Safe Recipe from The UnCook

Here's an easy fruit salad recipe we used to make for Girl Scout camping trips. I'm going to have the boys make it for Christmas dinner.

1 can fruit cocktail, drained; reserve the liquid
1 box instant banana pudding mix
1 container Cool Whip, softened
1 pkg mini marshmellows
1 banana, cut into slices (and any other fruit you want to add; banana-cutting is kid friendly because you don't need a sharp knife)

Mix the banana pudding with the juice from the fruit cocktail. Blend in the Cool Whip. Stir everything else into the pudding, and mix it up well til everything gets nicely covered. Keep it in the fridge til dinner.

It's pretty in a glass bowl, especially if you add more cherries or red grapes.
I suppose you could also add coconut if you really felt you MUST.

Wha....?

Robbs and Cameron attend a wonderful school with dedicated teachers who spend countless hours trying to instill grammar, math, science and social studies into the minds of the children. They are supported by a hard-working PTO which generally does much good for the school with fund raising and various programs. This time of year, the PTO provides a little store where the children can purchase inexpensive gifts. It's in a classroom all decked out for shopping, with a big banner in the window that reads "KID'S KORNER HOLIDAY SHOPPE"

Really? The cutesy Londonesque allusion is one thing; maybe they want the children to embrace our Dickensonian roots. But what about the blatantly misspelled word? These poor kids are now doomed to listen to Korn while they dine at Kountry Kitchen and shop at Toys R Us.

Who thought this was a good idea?

And the winner is...

...me! Sarah and Bill are going to the hockey game, so I get both boyos tonight. In my house there will be one cutie patooty boy in jammies on each red couch, wrapped in their new fuzzy Christmas blankets, watching Santa Claus is Coming to Town. I am a happy Grammie.

Seven months and counting...

Thanks, Kimberly. This is hilarious!

Here are the winning entries to the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
__________

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common
words. And the winners are:

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavoured mouthwash.

9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.

13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death,
the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by Jewish men

Enchanting Enchanted

A lovely, silly PG-rated film. I went with Bethany, and we laughed out loud. A lot. Then we stayed for the very last of the credits to see who did the music...and walked out singing a few of the songs by Alan Menkin (Little Mermaid, Beauty & the Beast, Aladdin) and Stephen Schwartz (Prince of Egypt, Pocahontas, Godspell, Wicked). A few days later I took my grandkids, and even the 5-year-olds were enthralled. So were Sarah and Bill. The adults especially got a kick out of the hidden Disney allusions throughout the movie...not to mention Wicked, Rent, and Hairspray, the stars of which were in the film. I'm actually surprised there wasn't a poster for Grey's Anatomy plastered on the side of a bus!

Now, I must say there was another rodent (a chipmonk this time) in another restaurant, so I did have a brief "Bleh" moment. Apparently the fine people at Disney approve of, perhaps even encourage, vermin in their kitchens, so I guess I'll just have to let it go.

But you won't see me in line for the Blue Bayou.