PART I
We Christians, who are supposed to be generously carrying the name of Christ into all the world, who are supposed to show His Glory through our love and behavior? We stink as customers. We are typically loud and pushy and arrogant and stingy.
The worst place we exhibit this "sanctified" behavior is in a restaurant. We're famous for tipping 5% or less. Sometimes we don't tip at all; instead we'll lovingly leave a tract, because we know the server's soul is worth more than some measly tip. And what better way to share Christ's love than with a clever presentation of the 4 spiritual laws. My favorite tract is one that appears to be a folded $5 bill, but when you open it up it says, "Disappointed? You'll never be disappointed with Jesus!" Wow, this fun and delightful tract causes the server to immediately fall to his/her knees and make a confession of faith, because some Christian went the extra mile to buy that 25 cent tract, carry it to the restaurant, and leave it on the table instead of a gratuity. We should each buy a case of those tracts and leave them (instead of a tip) at every restaurant we patronize, because I know how the servers respond to such a display of Christian love. And besides, they are getting paid to do this job, right? They're making an entire $8.00 an hour, so they certainly don't need any tip. What they NEED is a religious tract. Yeah. That's just what they need.
My friend Diane says if you're going to bow your head to pray over a meal in a restaurant, you'd better be prepared to leave a 20% tip. Because, she says, you have called attention to the fact that you serve God, and you must not shame Him by being cheap with the gratuity. Servers are watching for real Christian behavior. They don't see much of it.
PART II
You probably know this, but it's true that Mother's Day is the busiest day in the restaurant biz. The only people who DON'T go out to dinner on that day are restaurant people, because we know better.
At Marie's, our Mother's Day was great...busy, happy, wonderful food. Just one teeny fly in the ointment: we had a "customer incident", which is restauranteze for "Dang, someone got hurt; do you think they'll sue?" Here's what happened.
A sweet old lady in a wheelchair came in for our brunch, straight from church. She was wearing her Sunday-go-to-meetin' clothes and her lovely old cross brooch. Now, when I say old lady, visualize Methuselah's mom. She had filo dough skin, you know? like, so thin you can see bones and stuff through it. And her arms were covered with red and purple bruising as though she'd come to California by way of Katrina. Anyway, when she was coming out of the bathroom stall, she scraped the back of her hand, and it just removed that filo dough skin like peeling away a layer of onion. Not much bleeding, but it was really sore, and she was, naturally, upset. Me, too. I dropped to my knees by her chair, bandaged her hand, hugged and patted her. I repeatedly apologized and reassured her. I asked her if I could pray for her, which she gladly accepted. (later, I would be accused of having "an attitude")
Her daughter and son, those good moral Christian people, seeing this as an opportunity to make some money, never once showed her concern or compassion, but instead started threatening me, and accusing me of "inconsideration" because she had injured her hand.
Let me just say this in my defense: I did
not wake up Sunday morning and say to myself, "Hmm. I wonder how I can show inconsideration today. I know! I'll ambush the bathroom stalls so some pathetic old lady will scrape the hide off her hand! Yes, that's just what I'll do. Mwah ha ha!" then I twirled my handlebar mustache.
Oh, they'll sue for sure. You know they have some slick ADA lawyer on speed dial just for occasions like this. Poor mom. She's being beat up far worse by her obnoxious children that she was by our inconsiderate bathroom stall. I wish I had a nice tract to give them.
Hidden Objects games on my computer. I'd like to go to Best Buy and have the Geek Squad add some memory to my laptop, but I'm embarrassed by the number of downloaded games. Usually I download the free hour trial, and if I don't like the game or if I'm feeling parsimonious I don't buy it. But the trial offer is still taking up space. 
