Take a breath and chill

Tomorrow is August first. That means the Great Thanksgiving Gearing Up begins at our restaurant. We typically sell about 10,000 pies in the span of 2 days! So now we begin. The holiday pie boxes will be ordered, along with the extra million cans of pumpkin. The typical foothills of flour and sugar bags will soon rival Everest. Pie order cards will be sent to the printers. Employee training classes will be scheduled. It's an insane, fun time of year. Everyone works so hard, and surprisingly, the cooperation level increases. And so do the Crazy Customer stories. Here's one of my favorites.

It was Thanksgiving morning, and the line for pies went around the building. In that line was this fellow: 50-something white guy, about 5'2", nasty little grey beard, camo pants, black lace-up boots, black eagle t-shirt, camo billed cap covered with various sharpshooter pins. Can you see him? Don't you just know this guy woke up that morning with a really BAD attitude, and was looking for someone to bully. He had come in the evening before (with no pie reservation) and we were out of pumpkin pie. That happens maybe twice during the holiday season, and when it does there usually will be a rack of 160 of them, fresh out of the oven, cooling in the freezer...so we don't hand a customer a box of molten pie. You're welcome.

Well, GI Joe was still mad (because you know, we really DID have a bunch of pumpkin pies, but we were HIDING them, just to tick him off. Only him. No one else.) He decided he wanted someone (read: me) to feel the heat of his ire. So he got in my face...actually my neck...and snarls, "What would you do if I decided to storm this place in front of all these customers?"

"Storm this place"? Seriously? STORM a restaurant? with 50 employees running around and 100 customers standing in line? Over an eight-dollar pie?

So I smiled my sweetest smile, and in my very best the-customer-is-always-right voice I said, "Well, sir, I would call the police and have your butt dragged off to jail. In front of all these customers. Sir."

He got all puffed up and blustery, and demanded my name because he was going to call corporate the next day and report my ill-mannered behavior. Again I smiled, "Let me give you my business card so that when you call to tell on me, you get my name right. You will not come into MY restaurant, and threaten the safety of MY employees and MY customers. Now here's your pie. You will leave this building, and do not ever come back to this restaurant. Oh, and have a lovely Thanksgiving. Sir."

We haven't seen him since. He's probably down the street terrorizing Coco's.

Na na na na NAH na...you say it's your birthday

I started this blog a year ago today. Reading back through the posts has been an interesting ride...so much has changed. A blog is like a newsy Christmas letter (Dirty Little Geekret: I LOVE newsy Christmas letters!) and I have enjoyed my little walk down memory lane. Here's to another year. May our blog numbers increase as more and more join the ranks.

Too Much Time on His Hands

If I were a member of the idle rich, and if I had endless time, and if I had a bit of artistic talent......no; I still wouldn't do this.

Another Fail-safe Recipe from the Uncook

Honestly, there is not much I enjoy less than meal prep. I dislike planning menus, I don't like the grocery store, I detest schlepping the bags of groceries home and into the house, I am not a fan of the whole wash-prep-store stage, I am insecure about that tricky heating process, I do NOT like the mess of pots and pans and plates, and I honestly don't really even like eating all that much. If I lived alone, I'd develop a deep, abiding relationship with the cereal aisle. Cheerios would become my passion. Raisin Bran would be my raison d'etre. Tony the Tiger would be my Number One guy.

Perhaps one of the great ironies of my life is that I LOVE the Food Network. I've never cooked a single thing I've seen on it, but I love it nonetheless. It's my version of the romance novel.

Anyway, here's my mom's meatloaf recipe. It's one of 2 or 3 recipes she left me, (I get my "I Hate to Cook" DNA from her) and it's a pleaser.

2# ground meat
2 eggs
15 saltine crackers, crushed
Bell pepper, diced (I don't like it, so I put in about 1/4 cup)
Onion, diced (or shake in some dry stuff)
Seasoning salt (maybe 2 tablespoonsful...I like this stuff)
Pepper (to taste. I like lots of this, too)
1 small can Tomato sauce (reserve some for the top)

Moosh it all together in a big bowl, and press it into your loaf pan. Make a nice moat around the outside -- you'll need it to collect the grease. Bake it at 375 for about 45 minutes, then top it with the reserved tomato sauce, and bake it another 10-15 minutes. Dump the grease, slice it up, serve it with baked potatoes and green salad.

Nana would be so proud.

All the little birds on J-Bird street...

We went to see The Wizard of Oz (starring Bill Dickson as The Bass Player) last night. What a greeting we got when we arrived home!...can you see where the bunnies ate my lawn? bad, bad bunnies...Thanks, MOPS!

(photos by Robbie)

Oh, the weather outside is frightful

Today I drove to work by way of the San Timoteo Canyon, through snow flurries. Sure, it was about 85 degrees. Apparently, yesterday was the birthday of a zillion little white moths, and they celebrated by dancing through the canyon. So pretty!

I do NOT want to look at the grill of my car...

My Summer Romance

I've finished Season 1 of Bones; now I am beginning Sports Night. And on the trusted recommendation of Adam, who labeled it "best show ever to make it to network tv", I'm starting Firefly. So far, it's kind of Sanford and Son Are Saving Private Ryan from the Deathstar. Burn Notice is up for next week.

I'm starting Firefly right now. Hey, is that fellow playing Captain Mal Brendon Fraser's stunt double?

See the USA in your Chevrolet...

Yesterday, Sarah asked me to go to Raceway Ford to look at a Kia minivan with her. We decided to stop by two little used car lots near our homes before we drove to Raceway. We are among a large part of the Riverside population that has had memorable experiences at Raceway...and not in a good way! Anyway, the first place had the consumate used car salesman: loud, patterned shirt and shiny pleated dress pants, tassles on his loafers. When Sarah asked if he had for anything for $5000, he answered, "Yes, I sure do. I have this one for just $7400, and this one for $6800." Hmmm. good math skills, fella.

The second guy had a little white Chevy Malibu he would sell her for $5000. It needed a new manifold gasket, which he is having his mechanic fix tomorrow. He is including a 50/50 warranty, which means if anything goes wrong in the next 30 days, he'll split the cost of repairs.

I think she's making her best choice. She's very excited. She told me Bill asked if I could go with her when she went back to pay for the car, because even though they are adults, it would be nice to have a "grown up" go with her. But I didn't go. I went out to dinner with Krista instead. Sarah was a grown up all by herself.

Isn't she big?

Mr. Barbeque

I'll probably never ever do this because it involves touching meat with something other than a knife and fork (ew), but I think it's very cool. Someone try it and tell me if it works.

I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me...

Tonight Robbie was playing a Mario game on the Wii, and at one point, he warped to a different level. Remember the sound of a Mario warp ... think back, back, back into your childhood memory ... got it?

So is it just me, or is that the same bomp-bomp sound at the beginning of Law and Order?

Why? Because we LIKE you!

My homage to the Hidden Mickey.

How do you say "Kablooey" in Hindi?

Today I was copying a CD into my itunes. Things were going quite well, when suddenly there was a loud CRACK! and little bits of shiny silver plastic rained down all over my carpet.

If you need me tomorrow, I'll be on the phone to India.

Inadequate Words

My friends lost their little 3 1/2 year old daughter this week. They put her to bed with kisses and hugs and lovies and stories, and when they went in to get her up the next morning, she was gone.

Dearest Mommy and Daddy, dearest Aunties and Uncles, dearest Grammies and Grandpas...my heart truly knows your pain. I walked through this valley five years ago, and if I learned anything that I can teach you, it would be my privilege to pass it on to you. It's your journey now, but you do not travel alone. Remember that the same God you glorified the day Karissa was born, is the same God who loved and supported you through the health problems and diagnoses, is the same God who holds you now.

This song holds me up. I pray it does the same for you.

Glory Baby
by Watermark

Glory Baby, You slipped away
As fast as we could say "baby"
You were growing, what happened, dear?
You disappeared on us baby, baby
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe
Until we're home with you

But we'll miss you everyday, we'll miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you
But baby, let sweet Jesus hold you
Until mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little baby, it's hard to understand it
'Cause we are hurting, we are hurting
But there is healing, and we know we're stronger people
Through the growing, and in knowing
All things work together for our good
And God works His purposes
Just like He said he would

I can't imagine heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I can rest in knowing that heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know, all you'll ever know

We miss you everyday, we'll miss you in every way
But we know there's a day when we will hold you
And you'll kiss our tears away, when we're home to stay
We can't wait for the day when we will see you
But baby, let sweet Jesus hold you
Until mom and dad can hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do
You'll just have heaven before we do

Near, far, wherever you are

When I was in the 6th grade, part of our core curriculum included a subject we called music. (I know; I'm very very old.) We performed folk dances like the Virginia Reel, studied great art, and learned songs from all over the world. My favorite was the Canadian national anthem, which I still find myself singing whenever I hear it played. Admittedly, that's not often, but sometimes the random Canadian will win an ice-or-snow-related Olympic event, and I'll start belting out "O Canada, my home and native land."

It never occurred to me that I was avowing my allegiance to a country other than my own. I just really like that kind of loyalist, patriotic song. (Last week I was driving down the 215 singing my high school alma mater at the top of my lungs, but that's another story) This music makes my heart swell, my throat constrict, my eyes mist. You can keep your sappy love songs, and give me a marching band and a rousing version of Hail to the Chief.

This weekend, the Praise Ensemble is singing God Bless America, as recorded by French-Canadian Celine Dion. I wonder if she ponders the irony of singing a blatantly pro-USA song, or if she --like me-- simply loves to sing that kind of bold, strongly nationalistic, lump-in-the-throaty kind of music.

Blue and white we hold before us
As our song we raise
O Ramona, alma mater of our high school days

((sob))

Stand beside her, and guide her...

It is the American sound. It is hopeful, big-hearted, idealistic, daring, decent, and fair. That's our heritage; that is our song. We sing it still. For all our problems, our differences, we are together as of old, as we raise our voices to the God who is the Author of this most tender music. And may He continue to hold us close as we fill the world with our sound—sound in unity, affection, and love—one people under God, dedicated to the dream of freedom that He has placed in the human heart, called upon now to pass that dream on to a waiting and hopeful world. God bless you and may God bless America.

from Ronald Reagan's 2nd Inaugural Address, January 21, 1985

You're so fine, you blow my mind...

We'll be on the Magic cruising the waters of Mexico when the Olympics begin. I can't wait to see what the cast and crew do for the opening ceremonies! I promise to take lots of pictures to post when we get home.

Yo homes, smell ya later

Hancock: Bad. Awful. Terrible. Dreadful. No redeeming qualities. The best line in the whole fiasco was the one at the box office. I should have gone to see Wall-E instead.

Save your $7.50. In fact, wait 'til it's on video, then don't rent it.

Flow it, show it, long as I can grow it...

Shear Genius has begun. It's a typical reality show...lots of bleeped words, lots of less-than-macho men, lots of infighting, lots of blatant product placement. This time, instead of singing or dancing or yodeling or designing Barbie's ballgown/tennis togs, they're cutting and coloring and styling hair.

As with all programs of this genre, every single one of the contestants thinks they are The Next Great Thing--Just Wait Til Jennifer Aniston Sees What I Can Do while everyone else is a sad little mistake.

I'm pining for Tim Gunn.

Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Ferris is on The View today, and his hair is getting GRAY! He's going the way of The Fonz.